Last year at this time, I had just quit a "membership company" where I was an actor, mostly rehearsing unused monologues and overdone scenes in front of mismatched goal-oriented "actors" who were on a million different pages in their lives. One thing we all had in common - we were lost and needed ground. We needed guidance. This company, which I will not mention in name (though it no longer exists- well, not in the capacity that it once did) didn't provide that solid ground that we all so desperately sought for in a profession where balancing survival and passion is an art within itself.
Since I decided to put my energies into teaching, I feel theatre has surrounded me more. Correction. It has always been around me in excessive levels (since it has been a HUGE part of my life since I was twelve or thirteen years old), but I feel stepping away from it, even for that first few months made me realize how lucky I am to have artistic expression everywhere I turn. I still didn't miss acting at all, and haven't missed it. Not even one iota....seriously....not since yesterday. I've been perfectly happy teaching, and loving my grad school class (I have to take more classes next semester! eeek. I'm a one-class-underachiever) doing drama afterschool programs with the kids, writing in my free time...lalala.
Yesterday, Lovely Anna, one of the wonderful head PreK teachers who works across the hallway from my classroom, where I work with my head teacher, Aussie Lisa (she's from Australia). Anna is absolutely lovely by the way. If I wasn't teaching first grade next year, I'd totally want to work with her in PreK. She's been there for years, and I love how creative her ideas are for the classroom. She does a lot with arts and crafts- making books, etc. So...her class is working on their author study and I was asked to make a book on tape! How cool! That's one of those things I've always wanted to do...and I mean ALWAYS...since I was little. Eric Carle is the Author they are studying, so she asked a few teachers to record different books on a tape, and the kids listen to it. I think it's a cool idea. This way, at rest time, they can listen to teachers they know throughout the building on tape..while hearing all the wonderful stories of Eric Carle. He's a pretty interesting children's author, I think.
So, I'm sitting afterschool on Thursday afternoon, alone in my classroom with a little black tape player/recorder and a children's book. As I'm taping this story, I was enjoying every second of it. I love these moments where my theatre experience and work-life connect. In these moments, as simple as they are, it all starts to make sense. I've had other moments like this, many actually. I have put on plays with my kids, I have played theatre games with them, I've written poems with my kids, the list goes on....but I began to think about acting again. I haven't thought about being on a stage or memorizing a script or the way I would smile in my next headshot since last March....but suddenly those thoughts snuck into my current reality. I don't think the time is now, but the time may come in the next few years or so for me to jump on the audition wagon again.
When I first left this theatre company, I was beginning to get jaded. I have to step away from things completely to get a fresh perspective. It's the only way it works for me. I'm the same with dating. I'm quitting until I have another fresh perspective. To date and date and date and date is exhausting and feels emotionless after awhile. That's not who I am.
Anyway, I love what's going on in my life right now. Yes, I've had my fears and doubts and I know I'm persuing a whole other profession that takes well-needed time to grow and expand my knowledge and experience. Maybe seeing my friends, who I am soooo incredibly proud of and ecstatic for (Niwa especially - yeah for being recognized for the AMAZING playwright she is!) grow is part of it, but I really feel a pull lately....a pull in the right direction.
Finding the balance for all my passions in life has been a struggle for as long as I can remember, but I feel it coming together. I think stepping away from theatre was one of the best decisions I've ever made...and it will never get too far away from me. I don't think it will let me...muahahaha! wooooo-
Ack! I gotta run! I have a jam-packed weekend of theatre theatre theatre!!!! I'm seeing a FREE...that's right free show tonite through Roundabout Theatre. It's a Patrick Marber play called "HOWARD KATZ". I've heard amazing things....you will get a review I am sure ;) My brother's girlfriend, Nic may come when she gets off work - but I haven't heard the word yet.
Here's the link. http://www.roundabouttheatre.org/pels.htm
Tomorrow night I am seeing Jason's show!!! YAY! I'm siked. I'll say DOODLE just for him. ;) CLOUD 9 through WhirledPeasProductions got rave reviews from my friends, Niwa and Darla. Rock on! I can't wait.
Sunday, yep, theatre on Sunday too...I get to be part of the audition process for Niwa's wonderful one-act piece that recently got accepted into a festival. Yay. Darla asked me so kindly to be her AD/stage manager. I will do anything to be part of this amazing piece of work....
Stay tuned.
a slice of life at 20-something as told through babble and poetry...
Friday, April 27, 2007
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3 comments:
It's so wonderful to get to 'hear' things like this from you. Since I don't know you all that well, it's like that little glimpse into your world. Yea :o)
I love this entry. I got a little excited too, when you mentioned a possible return to acting. I never left, and I gotta tell ya, i'd be willing to help ease you back in someday, in some capacity, whenever you are ready.
THANK YOU for being my SM/AD - you truly did a fantastic job yesterday and it was clear some of the actors just loved being able to meet you first and learn about the show from you. What a great thing for them, and for us, because I think you made them less nervous. You rock.
We have a big task ahead but i'm completely confident and i'm excited to be able to work with you in theater again, how funny is it that we are both on the other side of the stage for this production?? Wow...who knew we'd even come this far? We have out playwright Niwa friend to thank.
x's and o's -Dar
this is fantastic. things seem to be going to good places with you. i'm incredibly happy for that. :)
hope it was a good weekend...i'm writing this on monday, so it's post-theatre/theatre/theatre!!!
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