I promised myself I'd write for one hour today....and so I am...I created a blog. Yes. Yes, it counts. I'll tell you why. I wanted to write one poem and work on my ten minute play. Typically, I keep two journals...one for the morning and one for the evening. I don't write in them as consistently as I used to, but they have at least five or six years of twenty something ups and downs in them - priceless shit. Anyway, I figured, okay, it would actually be good if I got some feedback or even a "hey - I read your thoughts" ....because, I don't know how anyone else feels, but sometimes the stuff I write in my journals is good...sometimes even better comparatively to other creative writing I've written....yeeeeah. So, writing this blog might give me some ideas like my journals usually do....and the feedback is even better....cool....okay, anyway, enough rambling.

So...the real reason I'm here, truth be told, is I figured it's the best way to tell the friends closest to my heart what's going on with my life....and frankly, I'm out of the loop a bit (dang blog-cliques! hehe). Since I've given up the struggling-actor-coffee-shop-guru-theatre thing (a little over a year ago), I've jumped head first into the teaching profession and grad school. Anyway, it's not always clear what's going on with my life - Nina, Dar and I are on different pages day to day. Ah then - it clicked. Blogs rock! This way, I don't always have to play "catch-up" with depressing stories of freakish dates and that dude on the subway that tried to blow his nose on my shirt (the latter didn't happen, by the way). When I meet up with my girlfriends now, we can focus on laughing and drinking until we are obnoxious. Love it.

WARNING: If you were ever curious about how my brain works, the following is disconnected in a way...so if you hate stream of conciousness, you may get nauseaus....heads up.

A fact: If it wasn't for a certain couch in Dar and Nina's apartment (that I LIVE in now, by the way)...err.... actually Nina's fouton in the late summer of 2004, I wouldn't be here. (Though, with my determination then, I would have found a way to make it here no matter what the circumstances...though it wouldn't have been as hospitable, no doubt) I guess my point is, I haven't wanted anything or felt that "gotta get it" feeling since I've wanted New York.

I know what I want to to do with my new degree (that I've always known I've wanted). I want to open a business one day (though that has nothing to do really with a Childhood Education degree...but somehow it connects). I want to develop an afterschool facility where children of elementary and even high schools ages can go to do arts programs that may be eliminated from their schools or just not available. How do I go about doing that? I have no freakin' clue. But, it will happen one day, I hope. I shouldnt say, "I hope". Maybe that's my problem...I'm the girl who cried wolf. I'm full of ideas that never come to fruition. Either that, or I'm waaaay too hard on myself....or I spend too much time being hard on myself and not enough time DOING...or....I should just shut up because I overanalyze everything.

Right now, I just want to get through some reading for my class at the end of the week, and start working on my 10-page paper due in a few weeks...

I just want to write one or two poems and set a deadline for myself to submit a few old ones. I want to work on my play.

I think, right now, I'm going to read. (it's for class, so I'm being productive.)

If I wasn't a procrastinator, I wouldn't have so many excuses. Riiiiight.


Happy Sunday...